


Trust Me

by bearfeathers



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), captain america: the winter soldier - Fandom
Genre: Brainwashing, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Spoilers, Dubious Science, F/M, Gen, Psychological Torture, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-10
Updated: 2014-04-12
Packaged: 2018-01-18 21:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1442686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearfeathers/pseuds/bearfeathers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s like walking into the lion’s den every time and he never really did peg himself as a Daniel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Daniel in the Lion's Den

**Author's Note:**

> #ibelieveinsitwell
> 
> *crawls under a blanket and cries*

“Agent Sitwell, we’ve just received word from the Triskelion. You have orders to report to the Lemurian Star immediately.”

Jasper doesn’t let his confusion show at Hand’s announcement. She’d said that word had come down from the Triskelion, but not _who_ that word had come from. Fury? Pierce? At present, all he knows is that he’s being suddenly reassigned to a location that makes absolutely no sense to him. What business could he possibly be needed for on the Lemurian Star of all places? Whatever the reason, he can’t question it. He’s got to go with the flow and hope for the best.

“I guess I’ve got a boat to catch,” Jasper says, once Hand has left them alone. He holds his hand out. “Good luck, Agent Coulson.”

“You, too, Agent Sitwell,” Phil replies, meeting him with a firm handshake.

For now, this is just as it seems: two colleagues, two friends, wishing each other luck on their separate endeavors. Neither of them could possibly know that in the days and weeks and months to come, it will mean so much more than that.

* * *

_“Encrypted line: secure.”_

“Agent Jasper Sitwell, Update Log 568,” Jasper answers smartly.

He pauses, taking a deep breath to get his bearings after his private meeting with Pierce. HYDRA is preparing to surface. After seventy years of biding their time, after all the years that Jasper had spent in their company, it’s all coming to a head. They need to be ready.

“I’m being assigned to the Lemurian Star,” Jasper says into the receiver. “There are valuable files onboard that relate to Project Insight that I’m supposed to protect. You need to stage something. I don’t care what it is; insurgents, pirates… hell, take the boat out if you have to. We’re moving into End Game territory. Someone has to recover those files at all costs and it can’t be me, not this time. I’m the only senior officer that’s going to be stationed aboard who knows anything about this, so if I try anything, they’ll find out.”

He frowns hard, the day’s events tumbling through his mind of their own free will.

“Send Rogers and Romanoff. Rogers is good for clearing the place and Romanoff… well, I don’t have to tell you what she’s good at. That’s just my suggestion. Update Log 568, end.”

Jasper sets the phone back on the receiver and replaces the wall paneling. There’s a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as he exits into the dark, deserted alleyway but he tucks it away neatly, professionally. After all, he’s got work to do.

* * *

Jasper sighs as he rides the lift up to the forty-first floor of the Triskelion. Unsurprisingly, Pierce wants a word over the debacle aboard the Lemurian Star. Likely to discuss their next move.

When Jasper wished Phil luck, he really had meant it, but… well, it’s complicated. In fact, it’s times like these that he really hates the fact that it has to be complicated. He’d allowed a man he’d called a friend for years to run off on a wild goose chase, putting himself and his team—and Jemma, a little voice in the back of his head reminds him—in danger. And apparently, Felix Blake had paid a very high price; from what he hears, his fellow agent is still in intensive care, lined up for another round of surgeries to correct the damage done when Deathlok had caved his ribs in. Jasper could have solved all of it himself, prevented that from happening, in a heartbeat. Should have. But couldn’t. Not if he was to maintain his cover.

Yes, Jasper Sitwell, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. who’s secretly an Agent of HYDRA who’s secretly still an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. working directly for Nick Fury, has to maintain his cover. Friendships, relationships, loyalties, they all have to come second to this. And how many years has it been now? How many years since HYDRA had first approached him and he, in turn, had approached Fury? He still remembers how Fury had explained it to him then; HYDRA couldn’t touch Phil Coulson, but his ambitious young protégé with a less than sparkling record? Now that is someone they’d like to get their hands on.

So he’d let them think they’d gotten their hands on him. He’s played his part and played it well, but that doesn’t mean he’s been comfortable with the lengths he’s had to go to. In fact there are more than a few things that have cost him a good night’s sleep or two (or three or four or several). But this is necessary. This has to matter above all else. Because S.H.I.E.L.D. cannot be allowed to fall to this threat.

“Agent Sitwell.”

Secretary Alexander Pierce greets him with a smile as he steps off the lift.

“Mr. Secretary,” Jasper answers respectfully.

“Come in, come in,” Pierce says, ushering him forward. “Sit and have a drink.”

“Thank you, sir,” Jasper says, following the man further inside.

It’s like walking into the lion’s den every time and he never really did peg himself as a Daniel, but he’s learned over time. It’s just another skin he’s figured out how to wear, just another mask. He sits in the proffered seat across from the secretary, gratefully accepting the tumbler full of scotch that’s handed to him.

“I bet you’re thinking I called you here to reprimand you for the Lemurian Star,” Pierce guesses.

Jasper adopts a contrite look, bowing his head in admission. “Sir, I accept full responsibility. I failed in my duty and I am prepared for whatever punishment you see fit.”

He hears Pierce laugh. “You see? I knew it. No, my boy, that’s not why I’ve asked to see you.”

“Sir?” Jasper prompts questioningly, looking up.

Pierce waves a hand. “Fury is… crafty. You couldn’t be expected to complete your duties with pirates and Captain America and the Black Widow onboard, could you? Of course not. But you see, this is what we do. We move forward. We’ve had our share of setbacks over the years so it’s unsurprising that we’ll hit more than a few roadblocks as we near our goal.”

“Of course, sir,” Jasper answers dutifully. He allows himself to look hesitant, curious. “If I might ask, sir… if not to reprimand me, why did you ask for me? At a time like this, wouldn’t I better be serving our cause by being out in the field?”

“Too right you are and I intend to send you out just as soon as we’re finished,” Pierce answers him. He stares into his own glass before taking a slow sip. “It occurred to me, Agent Sitwell, that you’ve been with us for some time. Nearly seven years, isn’t it?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And in that seven years, you’ve proved to be one of the most valuable assets we’ve recruited towards our cause,” Pierce continues. “Service like that deserves to be acknowledged, deserves to be rewarded. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“I agree only to what you see fit, Mr. Secretary,” Jasper replies.

Pierce wags a finger at him, grinning. “You see, that’s why I like you, Sitwell. That’s why I’ve always liked you. I had my eye on you since Agent Coulson first recruited you and don’t ever let it be said that I don’t know how to pick them.”

Jasper nods appreciatively. “And I know the winning side when I see it.”

“Precisely,” Pierce agrees. “Which brings me to my next point: you’ve long proclaimed that you make a great patsy. With your service to us over the years, I have to say that I’m in complete agreement.”

Jasper is startled, but not startled enough not to fight back, when he’s seized from behind. There is a quick, brutal struggle that ands with him pinned on his belly with what feels like seven or eight people holding him down. He still struggles in futility, unwilling to let it end like this. The realization comes crashing down on him: his cover is blown. They’re going to kill him. They’re going to torture him for information and kill him. S.H.I.E.L.D. is in danger. Fury is in danger. _Everyone_ is in danger.

“But you know,” Pierce says. “It wasn’t until recently that I realized just who you were playing patsy for. Bravo, Agent Sitwell, on a job well done.”

Jasper feels a sharp prick at the back of his neck. He struggles even harder, knowing what’s about to happen, but it’s useless. Within seconds, he can feel whatever they’d injected him with beginning to take effect. His frustration and anger mounts as his body grows numb and his mind goes fuzzy.

“I’m not… not gonna tell anything,” he slurs.

Pierce shrugs. “Not by your own free will, no. Fury tends to pick them as well as I do. But I’ve got big plans for you, my boy. We’ll make you a proper agent of HYDRA yet.”

That sinking feeling is back, a hundred times worse than before. Thanks to whatever's in his system, he now quite literally feels as though he's sinking. Just before he loses consciousness, Jasper wonders what exactly being made a proper agent of HYDRA entails and knows that, whatever it is, he has to do whatever it takes to resist. This is a fight he can’t afford to lose.


	2. You're Gonna Go Far, Kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why bother to take information by force when you can get it handed over to you willingly?

Jasper comes to abruptly, hissing in pain at the shock he gets to his side. Well, apparently they want him awake right at that very moment and don’t feel like waiting. His glasses are gone, he finds as he opens his eyes and he’s strapped into something. A chair of some sort. Kind of like the one you sit in when you visit the dentist, but he’s got a feeling dental floss and bleeding gums would be preferable to whatever’s in store for him.

“Welcome back, agent.”

Pierce steps into his line of vision, still smiling as though they’re back in his office, chatting over a drink. Jasper’s careful not to betray any emotion, to keep his expression as neutral as possible. Given the fact that there are doctors and scientists—many of whom he recognizes—hurrying around behind Pierce, it’s rather difficult to do so.

“Where are we?” Jasper questions.

“In the basement level of the Triskelion,” Pierce answers. At Jasper’s look of confusion, he clarifies. “Not the basement level you’re familiar with. No, we’re much further underground. Oh, don’t look so surprised; not even Nick Fury knows about this place.”

“Had to bury me far enough underground that they couldn’t hear me scream, huh?” Jasper queries.

“Something like that,” Pierce admits with a shrug. “Mostly because it’s where I keep this little beauty.”

He gestures to the chair that Jasper’s strapped into and… something beyond it. Something that Jasper can’t see.

“You’re aware that Director Fury personally oversaw the manipulation of your good friend Phil Coulson’s memories,” Pierce says.

Jasper feels a stab of guilt at the obvious dig, but tries not to let it show. Yes, he knows. He doesn’t know just how it was done, just that it had been. He knows because Phil hasn’t been himself ever since he came back. He knows because death changes you, but not like _that_. Fury had admitted to it when Jasper had confronted him about it, but there had been no details given, for obvious reasons. For reasons such as his current situation.

“Well, you wouldn’t know just how it was done, but this is something similar to the device used,” Pierce continues, like a salesman discussing the specs of a car he’s trying to sell. “It’s a bit more advanced—none of that directly prodding the brain nonsense. Too much risk of, for lack of a better term, scrambling the patient. We need you intact, Agent Sitwell. For our plans to succeed, we can’t afford to have you cracking like Coulson. You know very well that we have no use for broken soldiers.”

Jasper knows Pierce is just trying to get a rise out of him. But knowing that does very little to stop the anger curling up and making its home in his chest. It’d be one thing if Jasper were hearing this for the first time, but as it stands, it’s just to make sure he remembers he might not be the one in charge of what had gone on in “Tahiti” and he might not know all the details, but his hands are far from clean in the matter. It’s not even an accusation, it’s a reminder of the things Phil had gone through and Jasper’s role in keeping the truth from him. Perhaps it’s a fitting penance that he should have to experience something similar. But no, this is different. People will be hurt. People will die.

“So you plan to skip the interrogation and just extract information straight from my brain?” Jasper inquires, stalling. For what, he doesn’t know. Stalling for the help that will never arrive? Stalling from the inevitable.

“Now, you see, that’s how most people would do it. The thing of it is, you’re going to resist. That’s no secret,” Pierce goes on to tell him. “Minds are really such fragile thing in the end, Agent Sitwell, and trying to pull something out of you while you’re trying to keep it in is the kind of tug-of-war we can’t afford. Forced extraction runs the risk of damaging you beyond repair.”

Jasper narrows his eyes. Just what is Pierce playing at, then? It’s clear they’re going to be using this machine on him, since they’ve got him strapped into the fucking thing, but if not to extract information, then for what? And then it hits him. Pierce had said it himself: they’d make him a proper agent of HYDRA yet.

“I get it. Why waste time using force when you can get it all willingly?” Jasper says, his hands curling into fists despite himself.

“You have to admit, it’s a much more solid plan,” Pierce says with a smile. “I gain a valuable ally as well as whatever information you possess in regards to Nick Fury’s plans for resistance.”

“Mr. Secretary, in light of everything you’ve just told me, I’d like to invite you to, respectfully, go fuck yourself.”

That gets a laugh out of Pierce, who shakes his head in what looks like genuine amusement. Jasper doesn’t find any of it very funny, but then he supposes he’s a bit biased in that regard. Pierce motions to someone standing behind him and he tenses at the sudden flurry of activity. They fit him with electrodes and IV lines and force him to bite down on a rubber mouth guard and if he’d had so much of a shred of hope of getting out of here, it’s gone now.

“Try to relax, Sitwell. This is going to hurt some.”

There’s something being pressed to his head, to the sides of his face and a sound like a defibrillator being charged. The last thing he sees is Alexander Pierce’s benevolently smiling face.

* * *

_Jasper doesn’t really know what to think of Phil. He’s been with S.H.I.E.L.D. for all of three weeks when the man who’d recruited him decides to check up on his progress at the academy._

_“So, I hear you’re making absolutely no friends at all,” Phil says conversationally._

_Jasper shrugs as they walk across the lawn. “I keep to myself.”_

_“Uh-huh,” Phil hums. “And why is that?”_

_Jasper snorts. “Take a look around. This whole defenders of justice things isn’t exactly my shtick.”_

_“Then why did you agree when I asked you to come here?” Phil asks._

_He falls silent at that, for once having nothing to say. He hasn’t got an answer to that just yet. Maybe he’d thought it would be that fresh start he’d tried to have before, but so far he just feels like the unwanted stray cat that someone had brought home. So he keeps his hackles raised and his claws out because he’ll be damned if he’s going to take lip from some Captain America wannabe._

_“Listen, not everyone here has a record as clean as their uniforms might lead you to believe,” Phil tells him. “S.H.I.E.L.D. takes on all kinds.”_

_“Excuse me if I don’t take the word of a consummate boy scout,” Jasper replies flatly._

_“Oh? Is that what you think I am?” Phil asks him._

_The man is smiling, his posture relaxed and friendly, but for the first time Jasper sees. Really sees. There’s something dangerous about this man if you look close enough. But most people **won’t** look close enough. They don’t bother. Jasper just happens to know what to look for._

_“What do you say we go grab a bite to eat and we can discuss—“_

_Phil looks down at his watch, or rather, where his watch usually is. Greeted only by his bare wrist, he stares, eyebrows raised. He only looks up when he hears a slight rattling noise. Jasper holds his watch aloft, shaking it slightly. So, he’d gone through a phase as a kid where he’d been really into magic and had practiced his sleight of hand night and day… who hadn’t, right?_

_Most people, when confronted with a pickpocket, would be angry. They would frown and shout and demand their property back and threaten to call the authorities or worse. To Jasper’s surprise, Phil does none of these things. Instead, he laughs._

_“Oh, I like you,” the agent says warmly._

_Phil Coulson is a mystery, but as he hands the watch over, Jasper thinks Phil just might be a mystery he likes._

* * *

Jasper tastes blood when he comes to. His head hurts. Feels like it’s buzzing full of bees. He shakes, panting for breath and shivering in the cool air of the basement level. He’s still him, though. He’s still all him. Or… mostly him, anyway. He thinks. There’s a light being shined in his eyes, people hovering over him, checking vitals and prodding and poking him.

“Pupils are dilated,” he hears one of them say. “Heart rate elevated.”

“Looks like it wasn’t enough. Should we contact Secretary Pierce?”

“No need. We’re to continue to take it up, level by level, l until it _does_ work.”

“Well, it had better be quick. Barnes is due back in the hot seat.”

Barnes. Barnes? Who’s Barnes? Another agent, perhaps? Certainly Jasper isn’t the first agent that they’d tried this on. There are bound to be others.

“Alright. Fire it up.”

* * *

_“The view’s always better out here, out of the city,” Jasper says, staring upward._

_“Too much light pollution,” Jemma agrees with a soft hum._

_She squeezes his hand, staring up at the stars with him. It had been pure luck that Jasper’s assignment had lead him to cross paths with Phil’s team, but he isn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. It’s not easy being in a relationship when she’s a member of Phil Coulson’s Flying Circus and he’s got his own duties to worry about._

_“I know that face,” Jemma tuts._

_He looks to her in surprise. “What face? I’m not making a face.”_

_“Of course you are,” Jemma corrects him. She presses in close to his side, giving his hand another coaxing squeeze. “Now what’s the matter?”_

_He can’t very well tell her what’s the matter, can he? Because what’s the matter is above her security clearance. What’s the matter is that every time they’re together, he can’t shake the heavy chains of guilt weighing him down. He’s in deep with this whole double agent thing—seven years deep. It’s bad enough that he’s got friends within S.H.I.E.L.D., but a girlfriend as well? It’s Dangerous with a capital ‘D.’ He’s done well when it’s come to keeping his personal relationships limited, but Jemma Simmons is something else entirely._

_It’s irresponsible and foolish of him to have pursued her. If he’s ever found out, if they ever go after her to get to him—_

_“Jasper?”_

_He blinks, turning his head to find her worried gaze on him. He shouldn’t be with her. She deserves so much more than this. But he’s only human. Selfishly, he can’t stand the idea of letting her go. One day, though, he’ll have to. For her own safety, he’ll have to._

_“Sorry,” Jasper says. “I’m just thinking we’ll have to get back soon.”_

_Jemma’s eyes are searching, still worried, but more sympathetic than anything now. Going back means saying goodbye as they both embark on separate assignments._

_“Well, I think we can stay out here just a bit longer,” Jemma says softly._

_Her lips are cold against his when she kisses him, chilled by the winter air. He holds her close and kisses her back because this—_

_…because this…_

_…because this relationship provides an in. It allows him to keep tabs on Coulson and his team without attracting suspicion. It allows him to—_

_What?_

_That’s not it at all._

_That’s not right._

_…is it?_

_But it can’t be because…_

_Because he…_

_Jemma._

_…is a means to an end._

* * *

He wakes to the muffled sound of his own screams. The machine stops and he sags back against the chair, exhausted and disoriented. There’s no way of telling how long they’ve been at this. It could be minutes. It could be hours. His gasps for breath sound more like sobs and he’s so wrapped up in his own head that he barely notices the doctors and scientists hovering about. It hurts. It hurts like nothing he’s ever experienced. He remembers, suddenly, Garrett’s joke that Skye had done more in the field than he ever had… and he’d laugh if the idea weren’t so terrible.

Jasper’s grip is slipping. The thought angers him, that it’s taking so little to unmoor him. But then, he’d never really been taught how to avoid brainwashing. He’s got no way to defend himself other than to try to hold on to the facts.

He’s an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.

He swears loyalty to Nick Fury.

Hail HYDRA.

Jasper swears around the mouth guard, trying to shake his head but unable to because of the machine that’s currently tearing apart whatever makes him who he is. The thought had come out of nowhere, but it’s distinctly his. It’s not as though they’re planting these ideas and forcing him to repeat them; they’re planting these core ideas and… tweaking him. Adjusting him until they’re not ideas, but truths. They’re not tearing him down and building him back up, simply reshaping what’s already there. Somehow, that’s worse.

It’s so much worse.

He hears the machine firing up.

He squeezes his eyes shut.

He prays.

* * *

_“_ _You understand that this kind of mission can only end one way,” Fury says._

_Jasper turns his head to meet the director’s gaze and is alarmed to find something like regret in the man’s lone eye. So he looks down at his shoes before he nods, once._

_“I understand, sir,” he says. “I’m prepared.”_

_“Are you?”_

_“Sir?” Jasper intones questioningly, looking up once again._

_Fury shakes his head, staring out the window of his office._

_“This isn’t the kind of assignment you finish and write up,” Fury tells him. “You’re in it for years. You’re in it until it’s game over. There’s only so long that you can keep this kind of ruse up and they’re not the sort to let traitors escape. If they find you out, they **will** kill you.”_

_“I’m prepared for that eventuality,” Jasper repeats._

_Fury snorts and they lapse into silence._

_“You know, Phil Coulson started out as a gigantic pain in my ass,” Fury tells him. “Don’t get me wrong, he still is, but he’s also one of the best damn agents I’ve got. Something tells me, if I asked him, he might say the same thing about you.”_

_Jasper chooses not to answer, just nods in acknowledgement and lets silence take over once more. There’s not much more that can be said now. He’ll bide his time and play the part of loyal agent, all while fulfilling his true purpose of serving HYDRA. It had paid off, getting close to people like Fury and Coulson, making them grow to like him, to trust him. And now here’s Nick Fury, trusting him with the fate of S.H.I.E.L.D. itself._

_Yes, he’ll follow Fury’s orders. And when the time comes for them to come out of the shadows and into the light… he can only hope he’s there to see the look on his face._

* * *

The process is repeated over and over. Jasper loses count of how many times, the pain blurring it all into one continuous stream of agony. It must have been some time though, because after he’s brought back to consciousness on one occasion, they begin untethering him from the machine. There’s a great deal of hurried conversation around him that he picks bits and pieces out of.

“—need another few sessions.”

“It’ll have to do for now—“

“—enough to temporarily—“

“After Barnes has—“

They’re moving him, taking him somewhere else. There’s a man standing in the corner. He’s got a mask and a metal arm. They make eye contact briefly and Jasper shivers; his eyes are like ice. But he’s carted off before he can give it much thought. They place him on a bed and someone instructs him to sleep… so he does.

When he wakes again, he’s amazed at how much clearer his head feels. Everything had seemed so heavy and convoluted before, but now he feels light, freed from whatever had been weighing him down.

“Agent Sitwell. How are you feeling?”

Jasper sits up at the sound of Pierce’s voice. “Better, sir. Thank you.”

“I apologize for the rough treatment,” Pierce says, eyeing him as he stands in the doorway. “But you understand it was necessary.”

“Of course,” Jasper agrees. “I allowed myself to be swayed by the enemy and that required correction.”

Pierce looks pleased. And he should be, shouldn’t he? After all, now that Jasper is free of Fury’s influence, they can begin the real work here. He’s been granted clarity, the ability to see what should have been in front of him all along. He was never working for S.H.I.E.L.D.; his loyalties had always been to HYDRA, to Pierce. Oh, Fury had made him _think_ that he’d been of S.H.I.E.L.D., but no. No, this is where he belongs.

“Well, then,” Pierce says, gesturing to the open doorway. “Now that we’ve got you all sorted, I think it’s time we get to work. I’ve got a special assignment for you…”


End file.
